You'll REALLY be Surprised by the Content of this Post

Lies! You're not surprised at all! You know why? Because this post is about band.

Another year of marching band has come and gone so quickly. So, so quickly. Even in a new band, with new people, and a whole new world, it's all flashed by as if it were just a dream. A twisted, rocking, roller coaster of a dream, but still a dream.

This has by far been the hardest season for me yet. Even harder than my first year when I was just a little sixth grader, eleven years old, and could hardly play my instrument. Not because Timpview's more brutal or anything, or they make things intense, or anything like that. I felt that it was actually more relaxed and easy in that aspect. What made it so difficult was it wasn't Easley.

In Easley, I knew where I was needed and what I could do to help. I knew where I stood in the band and how far I could take things. I had the name of a Chelak, which helped build my respect, but I was also acknowledged as an upper-class marcher who had been around awhile.

Here at Timpview, especially at the beginning of the season, I felt that I was struggling to show that I do know how to do this and that I've been doing it for quite some time. I'd sit around helplessly watching everyone else take charge and get things done, wishing that I could know what I could do to help. My confidence was completely shattered, my feeling of self-purpose thrown way off course.

I was suddenly a first-year marcher again. People have even admitted to me that they don't see me as experienced, even though they know that I've been marching longer than they have. I nearly completely reverted back to my old self: quiet and self conscious, never wanting to come out of my shell.

Let me explain something to my fellow Timpview students who are reading this. On the Easley marching field last year, I was a different person than I am now. I was wild. Crazy, even. I, with a little aid from my brother, would be the one to run screaming back to set to get the band pumped up. During slow times, us Chelaks would be the ones to raise morale. It was the role of the Chelaks for as long as I remember.

So coming here and not knowing anyone did something to me. It shocked me back into seclusion, hiding myself away from others. It's like I have a barrier up that I want to break, but I just can't.

I realized that I'm over halfway done with my high school marching career, and it surprised me. Four years behind me, and three left in front. If the past four years have been so amazingly and terrifyingly fast, then it is only a very short time until this is all over. I can't even fathom what will happen then.